My Medicine Story

I was traveling the world, living my purpose, sharing my medicine and gifts with the world, blessed by wonderful community. And out of nowhere, just shy of short 24 hours my entire reality got shattered into pieces, my life was taken out of my hands; I was forced to surrender and let go of everything I knew to be true. I had zero control, like a really bad nightmare I couldn't wake up from...

I know to the reader having never met me before this sounds a little (extra) yet there is no other way to describe it...it happened so quickly that it was such a shock to not only myself, but to everyone around me. 

At the time I was living in Bermuda, we were still coming out of covid, and I was teaching an online 12 week feminine empowerment course, I remember signing off my zoom call, wishing the women a wonderful evening and going to bed that night. A couple of hours later I was awoken to the most intense sharp pain in my stomach and I was purging uncontrollably and struggling to breathe, I could barely walk to the bathroom, I remember crawling to the kitchen to grab my phone so I could call my friends for help. After that night, my life never looked the same...I went from living an extremely adventurous lifestyle, working and traveling around the world as a feminine entrepreneur, teaching feminine leadership retreats, and guiding pilgrimages to Bermuda, Peru, and Costa Rica, to then suddenly being bed bound, lifeless and relying on carers to look after me. I bed bound by a mysterious illness for 9 months straight, and facing life threatening conditions that lead to several hospitalisations; my symptoms were oxygen hunger, ketosis, intense stabbing pain in my stomach and horrific purging that would continue for days at a time, and acid reflux attacks that would last for 3/4 hours at a time. I was unable to eat for months due to an inflamed swollen colon. I lost 3 and half stone and all of my hair fell out. It felt like a really bad dream I never thought I was going to wake up from.

 Needless to say this was the most challenging, and darkest time of my life, that had me surrender to my knees in utter sacrifice to a much greater force bigger than me. I was steered and shaped in unforeseen ways that I never saw coming, which took me on an inward quest to question my entire existence. No stone was left unturned, I was forced to ask the questions that never get asked, it was humbling and also scary as f***. I stumbled ALOT; felt hopeless and clueless because nothing made sense. I sat in the dark for months, just praying and crying and then praying and crying some more...

AND this is where the SPIRIT OF THE HORSE came in.

At night I would try to close my eyes, and in my failure to sleep, because of the insomnia I would retreat to prayer. I would pray for hours at a time. I would kneel before my bed and pray to god. I remember asking him;

" What's next, where now?"

In the moments of stillness, I somehow could feel God rebuilding me, but I had no idea of the what and how it was going to look, so I would turn to him for guidance, and ask:

"Show me what you desire for me God, what would you have me be, do and speak, how would you have me move, show me in your eyes was my prayer?"

And I heard a voice say very clearly:

"Stay close to the animals, particularly horses, you need to go and find them, sit near them, breathe with them"

 This voice was so loud I could hear a ringing in my ears, and I couldn't ignore it even if I tried.

And yes, it is true what they say when you near the end of your life. Everything gets very quiet and reflective at first. For me I personally felt like I was sitting in a dark womb, and at times I would see pictures of my life cross me like a movie trailer. And then I saw a massive wave of light bigger than you can ever imagine. It totally encompassed me, and there was no other way to turn than to follow that BIG LIGHT out of the darkness, and hold on your life, that is if you want to live.

I can truly testimony to this, I can say a whole lot more, but for now I will just share some of the nuggets. I felt like my eyes were washed clean of all the gunk, and smoke and mirrors, all the small stuff, the fear, the perceptions and projections that I had unconsciously collected from others. I went through a complete identity death. I felt reborn and I had to start from ground zero all over again.

And to be honest, it all started with horses. It began with a longing in my heart and and an unprecedented desire to be near them. As I was unable to walk, bare alone drive a car, my mom would drive me to the nearest stable which was a short ten minute drive from my house. I could barely walk from the car to the stables but I was determined to hobble over to the stable door and plonk myself down on the stool for hours at a time, to breathe with these miraculous beings. It was so healing, just simply being in their cocooning auras and big energy field, the tears would automatically roll down my face. I felt like my soul had been freed, I could breathe deeper, and all the defensive barriers I had been clinging onto for sheer survival dissolved in their truthful eye and gaze. I melted into their presence - no filter, no mask, just me and them, breathing together within timelessness. And in that moment, it was like everything made sense, I felt my heart again for the first time, I felt my body, I knew my soul was exactly where she needed to be.

And slowly and gradually these exquisite equine beings began to lift the shackles from around my heart and heavy illness ( that was later diagnosed as a parasite, which was actually eating away at my insides and destroying my immune system)  hence why all of my organs were slowly shutting down.

Slowly and safely theses equine beings relieved me and lifted me from the worst nightmare ever.

The next year was a slow healing process.

BIG SILVER LINING in my healing journey.

Given the odds of how severely sick and life threatening this illness was, it is honestly a miracle I am here to share this story with you. I owe a good portion of my healing journey to the horses that sat beside me and reflected only love, hope and a grounded calm and presence amidst the most frightening nightmare anyone could ever dream of.

It didn't take me long to discover that the 'Horse' was becoming a BIG part of not only of my own healing journey but a collective calling to inspire and heal others through their medicine.

As my healing journey deepened and I became stronger, and through the support of detox and cleansing herbal aids and tools. I kept encountering an overwhelming desire to GIVE BACK. I felt compelled to share my gratitude for the enduring acceptance and loyalty these horses continued to keep gifting me.

It took a total of two years to recover, and three to retain my full vitality.

That following year into my recovery, I discovered the most wonderful school that taught an (in-person) Equine Massage Course and Equine Reiki Course. I eagerly signed up with the intention to explore the healing gift of horses and excavate my calling to give back to these wonderful animals. Finally I felt some clarity for the next steps. Later that year in 2023, something even more special happened. I bought my own horse, it was a dream come true. Her name is jewel, a beautiful Dun Section C.  She is my heart horse for life, I couldn't be more happy, and content with her in my life. She honestly has brought me back to life, she is my ANGEL.

And then 9 months later again I qualified and certified in 2024, from the Equine Massage School UK.

As you can see, this entire equine journey has been life altering and life changing for me, hence why I created a separate website page for this part, as I didn't want to bore you with a long read straight away :-)

I do feel it is a privilege to be an equine massage therapist/healer. I feel god has given me a gift that allows me to be a healing bridge for the equine realm. These animals are so profound, they deserve the world, and it has been so wonderful to now have gathered tools that allows me to contribute to these gorgeous animals holistically, spiritually and physically and help them maintain their ultimate best life with the most vibrant health and wellbeing.

My Previous Education Background & Work Experience 

I actually began my career in dance and art and then later entered the beauty therapy industry, to then branching off into the holistic and spiritual wellbeing field. From studying yoga, to meditation, to crystals and reiki, to nutrition, and life coaching, to then specifying in feminine womb health, feminine leadership, to then creating my own company and teaching and facilitating retreats and mentorship online and worldwide.

I gained 25 years of experience as a Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher, Nutritional Health Coach and Intuitive Healer.

 As a space holder, a keeper of faith and devotion to god, I have been very fortunate to hold space and guide many humans out of torment, pain and suffering into bold, bravery and breakthrough. I have helped many women transform weakness into strength, and move from victim into victor.

Transformation is no secret in my eyes.

I believe no pain, injury, or intense illness cannot be overcome.

When we combine science with spirituality and treat the adversary from all angles and have a conscious conversation with it, and learn how to integrate it, we can literally shape-shift and heal whatever challenge that is holding us back.

I share my vulnerable story with you, because I realise that our stories carry medicine, and if by any means you can to relate at all to parts of my pain,  or transformation in any way, or maybe you are going through a personal trauma or health challenge, or a minor or serious injury, or emotional and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness, depression and more, whatever the challenge is, it is my pleasure to support you.

I pray whatever trauma you or your horse have faced and or endured, please do not suffer alone, reach out and seek the professional support you deserve.

I am excited to offer equine massage, coupled with equine reiki. I also offer guided meditation journeys with your horse too. I also offer combined human and equine healing journeys to empower you both individually and your relationship as a sacred union.

It is my prayer that your relationship with your equine friend is enriched by the healing magic of love, trust, patience, understanding and grounded presence and alchemical transformation.

I cannot wait to share the miraculous touch of angelic equine therapy.

Lastly I want to say:

Horses are master healers, whom are highly sensitive and spiritual beings, literally angels with extraordinary healing powers who come here to teach us many soul lessons.

If you have the blessing of being near these beautiful beings, which if you've landed here, I am sure you do, I encourage you to fully embrace every moment with them.

Because all we have is NOW, not the past, not the future

The NOW :-) 

I look forward to meeting you and your horse/pony very soon.

With love,

Astraya 

xox