My Medicine Story

 

I was traveling the world, living my purpose, sharing my medicine and gifts with the world, blessed by wonderful community. And out of nowhere, just shy of short 24 hours my entire reality got shattered into pieces, my life was taken out of my hands; I was forced to surrender and let go of everything I knew to be true, and I had zero control.

 

I know to the reader having never met me before this sounds a little (extra) yet there is no other way to describe it...it happened so quickly that it was such a shock to not only myself, but to everyone around me. 

At the time I was living in Bermuda, we were still coming out of covid, and I was teaching an online 12 week feminine empowerment course, I remember signing off my zoom call, wishing the women a wonderful evening and going to bed that night. A couple of hours later I was awoken to the most intense sharp pain in my stomach and I was purging uncontrollably and struggling to breathe, I could barely walk to the bathroom, I remember crawling to the kitchen to grab my phone so I could call my friends for help. After that night, my life never looked the same...I went from living an extremely adventurous lifestyle, working and traveling around the world as a feminine entrepreneur, teaching feminine leadership retreats, and guiding pilgrimages to Bermuda, Peru, and Costa Rica, to then suddenly being bed bound, lifeless and relying on carers to look after me. Being laid up in bed by a mysterious illness for 9 months straight, and facing life threatening conditions that lead to several hospitalisations; my symptoms were oxygen hunger, ketosis, intense stabbing pain in my stomach and horrific purging that would continue for days at a time, and acid reflux attacks that would last for 3/4 hours at a time. I was unable to eat for months due to an inflamed swollen colon. I lost 3 and half stone and all of my hair fell out. It felt like a really bad dream I couldn't wake up from.

Needless to say this was the most challenging, and darkest time of my life, that had me surrender to my knees in utter sacrifice to a much greater force bigger than me. I was steered and shaped in unforeseen ways that I never saw coming, which took me on an inward quest to question my entire existence. No stone was left unturned, I was forced to ask the questions that never get asked, it was humbling and also scary as f***. I stumbled ALOT; felt hopeless and clueless because nothing made sense. I sat in the dark for months, just praying and crying and then praying and crying some more...

AND this is where the SPIRIT OF THE HORSE came in.

At night I would try to close my eyes, and in my failure to sleep, because of the insomnia I would retreat to prayer. I would pray for hours at a time. I would kneel before my bed and pray to god. I remember asking him;

" What's next, where now?"

As dark and lonely as it was at time, there were light build moments where I could feel God'd presence, there were times, were I could the hands of Jesus scooping me up from off the ground and holding me, and in those moments of absolute scarcity I would feel complete peace. I would cling onto these holy moments like my life depended on it because it did. Yet ultimately deep down I truly had no idea of the what life was going to look like moving forward, everything just felt so difference, I knew somehow my life was never going to be the same from this moment onwards.

So I decided to lean in, and get even closer to God, I would pray even more and ask deeper questions, it started like this:

"Show me what you desire for me God, what would you have me be, do and say, how would you have me move from here, show me through your eyes what you wish for me?"

And I heard a voice say very clearly:

"Stay close to the animals, particularly horses, you need to go and find them now, sit near them, and breathe with them"

This voice was so clear and loud I could hear it like bells ringing in my ears, and there is no way I could have ignored this message even if I had tried.

It is true what they say when you near the end of your life. Everything gets eerily quiet and reflective at first. I felt like I was sitting in a dark womb, with a movie screen in-front of me showing me the trailer highlights of my life. It was so wild and confronting. Then I saw a massive colllum of light bigger than you can ever imagine, unfurl down from the heavens above and totally encompass me. I couldn't even see around it, it the entire space and full spectrum of my visions. There was no other way to turn than to step forward and enter that BIG LIGHT out of the ring of darkness I was in and trust it like my life depended on it, because it did.

I can truly testimony to this, I can say a whole lot more, but for now I will just summarise the highlights. It was like God was washing my eye clean from all of the gunk, smoke and mirrors, and projected ancestral trauma of those around me, chords and attachments from others, they were all being broken, I felt like a tower collapsing into a rubble of ashes. I experienced a full ego and identity death. Which left me like a new born, beginning from ground zero, leaning to walk all over again.

And from here, that lead rein that was chucked at me, was not a single rope, it was one with a horse on the end of it mirroring a journey of growth, resilience and inner authority to reclaim my power.

It began with a deep longing and unprecedented desire in my heart to be near them, which then was followed with numerous serendipitous signs to take action.

At the times I was still very weak and unable to walk, bare alone drive a car, so my mom would drive me to the nearest stable which was a short ten minute drive from my house. I could barely walk from the car to the stables but I was determined to hobble over to the stable door and plonk myself down on the stool for hours at a time, to breathe with these miraculous beings. It was so healing, just simply being in their cocooning auras and big energy field, the tears would automatically roll down my face. I felt like my soul had been freed, I could breathe deeper, and all the defensive barriers I had been clinging onto for sheer survival dissolved in their truthful eye and gaze. I melted into their presence - no filter, no mask, just me and them, breathing together within timelessness. And in that moment, it was like everything made sense, I felt my heart again for the first time, I felt my body, I knew my soul was exactly where she needed to be.

And slowly and gradually these exquisite equine beings began to lift the shackles from around my heart and begin the process of transmuting a mysterious chronic illness ( which was later diagnosed as a parasite, which was viciously attacking/ eating away at my insides, and destroying my immune system)  hence why all of my organs were shutting down.

Yet slowly and miraculously these majestic intuitive beings  lifted me out of the the darkest nightmare ever.

The next year was a slow process of recovery with a BIG SILVER LINING in my healing journey.

Given the odds of how severely sick and life threatening this illness was, it  honestly was a miracle I am here to share this story with you.

I owe a good portion of my healing to the horses that sat beside me and reflected unconditional love, hope and a grounded calm and steady presence amidst the most disturbing and de-stabilising time of my entire life.

At this point it was becoming increasingly clear to me that the spirit of the 'Horse' was going to be BIG part of not only my own healing journey but a collective calling to inspire and heal others through their soulful medicine.

As I became stronger, and through the support of detox and cleansing herbal aids and tools, I kept feeling an overwhelming desire to GIVE BACK. I felt compelled to share my gratitude for the enduring acceptance, and loyal presence that these horses continued to give me.

It took a total of two years to recover, and three to retain my full vitality.

That following year into my recovery, I discovered the most wonderful school that taught an (in-person) Equine Massage Course and Equine Reiki Course. I eagerly signed up with the intention to explore the healing gift of horses and excavate my calling to give back to these wonderful animals. Finally I felt some clarity for the next steps. Later that year in 2023, something even more special happened. I bought my own horse, I called her jewel, because she held the universe in her turquoise ocean blue eyes. She honestly has brought me back to life, and is my true earth ANGEL.

9 months later again I qualified and certified in 2024, from the Equine Massage School UK. 6 months later, I found the perfect location to create my own Holistic Equine Retreat Sanctuary. A place I had been searching for for the past three years, and as destiny had it, this place was lying right under my nose, yet I didn't even know it.

As you can see, this entire equine journey has been life altering and life changing for me, hence why I created a separate website page for this part, as I didn't want to bore you with a long read straight away :-)

I do feel it is a privilege to be on earth at this time, because we get to create profound impact at a time of immense chaos and awakening. I believe god has been preparing me for this moment, as much as I wouldn't want anyone to experience the level of pain I encountered, essentially it was humbling and it has given me grit, and guts to now embody and ground that dream he planted in my heart many years ago.

I believe at this current time on earth we need LOVE more than ever, and to be able to share such a profound connection between the horse and human is honestly magic, and this is the kind of magic our earth needs right now.

 

My Previous Education Background & Work Experience 

 

Certified Yoga Teacher

Certified Reiki Master

Certified Equine Massage Therapist

Certified Equine Reiki Healer

Certified Crystal Healer

Certified Angelic Healer

Certified Holistic Health Coach IIN

Certified Massage Therapist

Certified Expressive Yoga Dance Teacher

Certified Womb Health Practitioner 

Certified Women's Leader Facilitator

 

I actually began my career in dance and art and then later entered the beauty therapy industry, to then branching off into the holistic and spiritual wellbeing field. From studying yoga, to meditation, to crystals and reiki, to nutrition, and life coaching, to then specifying in feminine womb health, feminine leadership, to then creating my own company and teaching and facilitating retreats and mentorship online and worldwide.

I gained 25 years of experience as a Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher, Nutritional Health Coach and Intuitive Healer.

 As a space holder, a keeper of faith and devotion to god, I have been very fortunate to hold space and guide many humans out of torment, pain and suffering into bold, bravery and breakthrough. I have helped many women transform weakness into strength, and move from victim into victor.

Transformation is no secret in my eyes.

I believe no pain, injury, or intense illness cannot be overcome.

When we combine science with spirituality and treat the adversary from all angles and have a conscious conversation with it, and learn how to integrate it, we can literally shape-shift and heal whatever challenge that is holding us back.

I share my vulnerable story with you, because I realise that our stories carry medicine, and if by any means you can to relate at all to parts of my pain,  or transformation in any way, or maybe you are going through a personal trauma or health challenge, or a minor or serious injury, or emotional and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness, depression and more, whatever the challenge is, it is my pleasure to support you.

I pray whatever trauma you or your horse have faced and or endured, please do not suffer alone, reach out and seek the professional support you deserve.

I am excited to offer equine massage, coupled with equine reiki. I also offer guided meditation journeys with your horse too. I also offer combined human and equine healing journeys to empower you both individually and your relationship as a sacred union.

It is my prayer that your relationship with your equine friend is enriched by the healing magic of love, trust, patience, understanding and grounded presence and alchemical transformation.

I cannot wait to share the miraculous touch of angelic equine therapy.

Lastly I want to say:

Horses are master healers, whom are highly sensitive and spiritual beings, literally angels with extraordinary healing powers who come here to teach us many soul lessons.

If you have the blessing of being near these beautiful beings, which if you've landed here, I am sure you do, I encourage you to fully embrace every moment with them.

Because all we have is NOW, not the past, not the future

The NOW :-) 

I look forward to meeting you and your horse/pony very soon.

With love,

Astraya 

xox